To Love a Girl
by cursedcursive
Summary: It was absolutely necessary for Alice to hide her feelings. Confessing her love would have destroyed their entire relationship. She had no choice but to stay quiet. But when Alice learns of Amelia's boyfriend, keeping quiet finds to be a very difficult task. Oneshot, fem USUk.


Falling in love was so supposed to be so, so sweet. Or at least, that was what Alice Kirkland had heard. She had never been one for love, nor had she ever been terribly romantic. But the idea of spending your life with a significant other had always piqued her interest and fascinated her. How could one possibly live her whole life with just one other person? The question was unanswerable to her. Of course, people had always told her she was strange to think these things, due to the fact that it was apparently absolutely unheard of for a girl to not be interested in love. Alice just wasn't, that was that. Until she came along.

Amelia Jones.

Amelia had transferred to Alice's high school in the girls' sophomore year. While Amelia immediately integrated into the class, she could not get close to Alice. Amelia's brash and overbearing personality clashed terribly with Alice's reserved attitude. She was the respectable president of the sophomore class, after all. She had to be civilized.

But soon, Alice had taken notice of her own situation: She was alone. Alice had no friends, and despite her being on the student council, she never really talked to any of them. The world suddenly became a very dark place. Alice often cried whenever she found herself alone in the student council room. It was the only room on the school that she had the authority to lock. She would never let anyone see her cry. It was unsightly.

But Amelia saw. Amelia saw her crying. The door had not been locked that afternoon, so Amelia simply strolled in, only to see Alice sitting on the floor, her glasses on the floor and only one pigtail in her hair. Despite Amelia not moving, Alice ran forward to the girl, crumbling into her body. Alice cried into the American's shirt, and eventually, Amelia wrapped her arms around her. _There there, _she had said. _Let it out. _

Maybe it was then that it started.

* * *

"Alice, since you're heading back to your classroom, can you bring these documents to your teacher?"

Alice had been stopped by a teacher as she was exiting the teacher's lounge. The home economics teacher had wanted to see her about recent… _interesting _cake she had baked.

"Alright," Alice said, picking up the rather large stack of papers and heading out the door. As she made her way to the classroom, Alice's mind inadvertently drifted off to thoughts of Amelia who, since the incident, she had become best friends with. _I've been thinking about her a lot recently. Maybe this is- _Her thoughts were interrupted by a rather loud question being asked from within the classroom.

"Hey, Amelia, do you have a boyfriend?" A high pitched voice asked.

Alice froze in the door frame, her eyes widening.

"Yeah, I've been wondering, too."

"You must! You're the popular type, after all!" Alice watched from a distance with a horrified expression on her face. Her hands began to sweat as her legs shook in the anticipation. Finally, she saw Amelia's ears turn red.

"I do." The girls began squealing, but Alice heard none of it.

_She, _she thought as the papers fell out of her hands, _has a boyfriend? _The Brit stared at the girl, hands resting limply by her sides. At the noise of the falling sheets, Amelia's head turned.

"Alice, are you okay?" Amelia asked, quickly running over to help. Alice stayed silent, watching as the girl bent down to gather the documents. "Let's get these picked up," she muttered.

_She has a boyfriend. Why am I so surprised? Of course she has a boyfriend. _Alice's eyes glazed over. _She has a boyfriend. _Alice felt a small "thump" of pain hit her forehead. She looked up slightly, seeing Amelia flicking her head.

"Honestly, at least thank me for picking up your mess," she smiled at the Brit, her expression simply glowing with excitement and joy.

"Yeah," Alice stated. "Thank you." _I understand._

_I'm so deeply in love with you, Amelia._

* * *

Alice found it difficult to talk to Amelia after that. After all, she had a lot on her mind. Even though she had suspected it for a while, she had just acknowledged her feelings for her own best friend, and, in the same day, she had discovered her love already had a partner.

Despite Amelia's attempts to make conversation in the hallways, she was met with silence. Enough was enough.

"Alice," Amelia asked. "Want to have lunch on the roof?" Alice looked up at her.

"Sure." Alice blushed at Amelia's look of pure happiness. When the two made their way to the roof, they ate their lunch in silence. Alice didn't want things to continue this way between them. It was her own fault, after all! "How are your classes going, Amelia?"

"Hahaha, not very well! I didn't study for my math test, so I got a C on it!" The english girl stared at her.

"What?"

"I haven't been studying very much recently. I've just been too lazy, I guess," Amelia giggled like it wasn't a big deal. Alice leaned over and glared at her.

"You dumbass!" She screamed. "You're never going to get into a good college that way! Honestly, what are planning on doing with your life?"

"I don't know, maybe something with science?" Alice rolled her eyes.

"Very specific." Amelia laughed, and Alice went silent again. Then the real conversation started. "What's your boyfriend's name?" Amelia looked at her, surprised.

"Matthew Williams," she said. "He's on the hockey team, he's the star actually!" Alice gripped her water bottle.

"What's he like?" She asked, hiding the tremor in her voice.

"He's really sweet, and really innocent too! He's fun to tease." Alice's hands shook. "Though, not a lot of people recognize him until they see him in his hockey jersey."

"I," she spoke softly, "I see." Alice stopped talking as Amelia took bites of her lunch. Alice, however, had lost her appetite. There were a million thoughts screaming in her head, but Alice didn't want to know the answer to any of them. She didn't want to hear how wonderful this "Matthew" was. She didn't want to hear about how they first met, nor their dates. She didn't want to see that smile on Amelia's face, a smile that Alice didn't cause. She did, however, want to know one thing.

"How far have you two gone?" Alice looked her dead in the eyes, Amelia's face lighting up bright red.

"W-what do you mean?" Alice didn't answer. "We've kissed, but he has touched me a little, like he's grabbed my hair, and he's only touched my chest once, but other than that, we haven't gone far," Amelia rambled. Alice couldn't even nod.

_He's touched her. _

"I see," Alice said, her eyes stinging. She gulped. She felt sick, her heart hurt and hatred filled her thoughts. "Don't you think you're moving too fast?" Amelia looked up.

"Huh?"

"I mean, you haven't been dating long, but he's already touched your chest?" _Stop talking. _"And he's a jock, they're always only after one thing. Besides, he probably would go spreading rumors about how good your boobs feel or something." _Stop, stop talking, please. _"I mean, he doesn't sound like a very good guy. And aren't you being kind of disgusting, too?" _Stop, stop, stop. _"You're being so slutty."

A splash of cold water hit Alice's face, preventing her from saying more. Looking up, she saw Amelia there, standing before her with an empty cup in her hands. She was crying, her face contorted in a mix of rage and humiliation.

"Why would you say that?" Then she ran off. Alice was left there, processing what happened. She threw her lunch to the side of the roof, hot, frustrated tears flowing down her face like a river. She let out a long scream, holding her face in her hands.

"Damn it!" She bellowed. "Damn it all!" Alice stayed there until the day was over.

_I love you so much, it's unbearable._

* * *

It had been three weeks since Amelia and Alice had last spoken. Alice typically saw her around the halls, holding hands with a guy.

_So that's Matthew, huh. _Alice looked him over. _He doesn't look like much. In fact, he doesn't seem nearly as good as Amelia had described him, but, _Alice stared at Amelia. Her smile was so bright when she talked to him. _He must be to make her look like that. _

However, despite what Alice thought, Amelia was not happy. She was still bothered by their incident as much as Alice was. Amelia was currently feeling a mix of strong emotions. She was angry, of course, because of what Alice said. But she was more confused as to _why _Alice had insulted her. She was the one who asked about Matt in the first place, after all. She was the one in the wrong.

So why did Amelia feel so guilty? There was a pain in her chest that just wouldn't go away. _I don't think I'm sick, and I just had lunch. What is this? _ Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a voice.

"Amelia?" Matt asked. "Are you okay?" Amelia looked up, the man's blue eyes filled with concern.

"Yup!" She exclaimed, replacing her frown- when did that get there?- with a smile. Matt smiled back at her warmly as he tightened his grip on her hand. The two walked hand-in-hand to their fifth period class in silent serenity.

But despite how happy Amelia felt she should have been feeling, the pain in her chest had yet to disappear.

* * *

Another week had passed and still no interaction between the two girls had occurred. Alice's life had reverted back to how it was before she had become friends with Amelia. She cried a lot more now, mostly at home under her covers.

_I know it's my fault, _Alice thought one day as she sat in the student council room, doing paperwork at her desk. _But it's so hard to even look at her, let alone talk to her! _Alice crumpled a form she was holding, getting fresh ink on her hands. _I need to apologize. _Gathering up all the courage in her body, Alice whipped out her phone. After she had written a text to Amelia, she scanned it over.

"Hey, could we talk after school? I have some things I need to say," she read aloud. Two minutes after sending the message, she felt her pocket vibrate. Pulling the device out, she looked at the screen: One new message from Amelia. Swallowing heavily, her hands shook as she opened the message.

_Sure, _it read. Alice let out the breath she'd been holding in as her heart rate calmed down slightly. It wasn't much of a response, hell, it was barely anything at all! But nevertheless, it made Alice feel better.

The pitter-patter of her heartbeat soon filled up the room as Alice excitedly finished her work.

Alice and Amelia sat together in the library after the final bell had rung. After avoiding eye contact for the first seventeen minutes, Amelia finally spoke up.

"U-um, Alice," she started. "I wanted to apologize for the whole… incident."

_Huh? _

"I know you were just trying to look out for me, and I took it the wrong way." Amelia stared down at the table, threading her fingers together. "I'm sorry that I got upset and threw my water at you. Also, I'm sorry that-"

"NO!" Alice exclaimed, interrupting not only Amelia but the silence of the library as well. "It was completely my fault! I was the one who was mean to you, I insulted you! I was the one who asked you about Matt, and you only responded truthfully! I had no right to judge you!" Alice took a deep breath. "You have no need to apologize. The whole thing was my fault."

The two sat in silence for a few seconds before Amelia said "It's alright, Alice. I accept your apology." Alice looked at the girl. Amelia was smiling at her, her eyes soft and forgiving.

"Really?" Amelia laughed.

"Really really." Alice smiled, relief obvious on her face.

"Thank god! I was afraid you would never forgive me!" Amelia laughed again.

"Come on, let's go home together," Amelia said, getting out of her chair and grabbing her backpack. "Let's hangout at my place! We haven't spoken in a month, after all." Alice smiled.

"Okay!"

As the two walked out of the school together, Amelia and Alice discussed the things that had happened to each other over the past four weeks. They laughed about the lunch lady's obvious new boob job and the history teacher's accidentally blue-dyed hair. They couldn't have been happier.

"I'm so happy we can act like friends again!" Amelia exclaimed, her eyes shining. Alice stopped walking. Amelia, concerned at her friend's sudden action, stopped with her. "You alright?" Alice said nothing.

_Friends? _She thought. _Sure, being friends is good. It's what we did before, after all. It's just like before. _

"Alice?"

_But that's not what I want. That was never what I wanted. I want more, more than what she's offering. What I want is… _

"Alice? Hey, seriously, are you feeling-"

"I love you."

Silence fell between the two as Amelia registered what she said. The girl's face went blank as Alice continued to stare at the American.

"Huh?"

"I love you, Amelia. More than anyone else in this world," Alice said, her voice strong and sure. "And I can guarantee that nobody loves you more than I do, especially Matt. I've loved you since you first held me that day in the student council room, and ever since then, not a day has gone by where I haven't thought of you. You were and still are my everything, Amelia." Amelia's legs crumpled under her as she fell to the ground. "I don't love anybody other than you. I love the way you smile with so much innocence, I love the way your accent sounds when you sing. I love the way you're always laughing, and the way you write with both your right and left hands. I love you, Amelia, and that won't ever change." Alice gazed at Amelia as she stared at the ground, her body unmoving. "That's all I needed to tell you." Alice's voice started to waver. "And since I assume you won't want to talk to me after this," her eyes began to tear up. "I'll just take the liberty to say goodbye to you now, Amelia." Alice began to walk off, leaving Amelia sitting on the ground. "It was wonderful loving you, Amelia Jones. And it was even better being your best friend."

With that, Alice walked home, her face coated in her salty tears as Amelia sat lifeless next to the gate of the school.

* * *

Amelia sat in her living room Saturday morning watching hockey with Matt. While Matt was sitting on the edge of his seat due to the rather closeness of the game, Amelia sank into the couch, completely and utterly bored.

"What's wrong?" He asked, not diverting his attention from the tv. "You usually love watching hockey!" She sighed.

"I prefer football, in all honesty. And nothing's wrong, I'm just kind of tired, is all."

"Gotcha," he responded quickly. Matt continued to focus on the game, leaving Amelia to do nothing.

"Hey, Matt," she said. "Do you love me?" Startled by the question, Matt looked at her.

"Why?"

"Just answer it."

"Well, of course I love you, Amelia," he said, smiling at her. "I wouldn't be going out with you otherwise!" Amelia stared at him as he turned back to the tv.

_No, _she thought. _It's different. _Her thoughts drifted to Alice and her confession yesterday, and her face heated up. _But why is it different? They both said they l-love me, so it shouldn't be different. _She looked at Matt. _But it is. He told me he loves me, so why do I feel so disappointed? _

She continued to stare at Matt, his face excited like that of a child's. Amelia smiled.

_I am attracted to him, _she thought. _But, somehow, it doesn't feel as strong as it did before. _Looking at Matt, Amelia noticed some new things about him: His hair didn't sparkle as much, and his eyes weren't as captivating.

_Maybe things will be different tomorrow. _

The next day, Amelia and Matt decided to go on a Sunday date to the park. The weather was warm, so Amelia decided to wear a sundress. The couple walked hand-in-hand, watching the dogs playing together and the children climbing the trees as they searched for a good spot to sit and eat their lunch. They finally settled themselves under a rather large maple tree.

"This is nice," Matt said softly. Amelia smiled at him.

"Yeah, it is," she replied. And maybe that statement would have been true, had the following conversation not started.

"Hey, Amelia," he said. "Yesterday you asked me if I loved you."

"Yeah, what about it?" She posed.

"Why did you ask me that?"

"I was just wondering." Matt went silent.

"Well, do you love me?" Her eyes widened. "Do you love me, Amelia?" The suddenness of the question surprised Amelia so much that she couldn't speak. Her mouth dried up, leaving her to only loosely mouth words. "Amelia?" She shut her mouth.

"I don't," she said, shocking herself. "I don't love you, Matt. I want to break up."

Matt sighed deeply and held his face in his hands, running his fingers over his temples.

"Fine," he angrily stated. Abruptly standing up, the man took one last look at his girlfriend and walked away. "Bye Amelia."

"Bye," she automatically responded. However, her mind was somewhere else.

_Alice._

* * *

"Here are the documents you needed, Alice," Francis Bonnefoy said as he handed the president forms for the field trip. "And, if I do say so myself, you are looking positively ravishing today, despite your bitchy attitude."

"Shut up, frog," Alice angrily said, walking away from the French man. As she made her way down the hallway, she found herself instinctively thinking about Amelia. Her eyes, now very red and puffy, began to sting yet again as new tears threatened to fall. _Not again, _she thought. However, she found her thoughts interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall. She turned around to see what the commotion was, only to lock eyes with the one person she had been avoiding all day.

"Amelia?"

"Alice!" She screamed rather loudly, making Alice wince. Amelia's pace quickened into a sprint as soon as she saw the Brit. Alice, now completely startled, presumed to run away.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU WANKER?"

"SHUT UP AND STOP RUNNING YOU DUMBASS!"

Alice turned a corner and ran into the science room, attempting to close the door behind her. Amelia, however, was much stronger than Alice had accounted for, and ripped the door open.

"Got you," she panted. Amelia closed the door, leaving the two girls alone together. "I need to talk to you." Alice frowned.

"I don't want to talk to you, though," she looked down, hiding her pained expression. _I don't want to hear it. __I don't want to hear her say "I'm sorry." _

"Then just listen, I'll do all the talking." Alice's eyes burned. Amelia took a deep breath. "I broke up with Matt."

"Wha-"

"We aren't getting back together, not now, not ever. I'll make sure of it." Amelia lifted Alice's face, the Brit's face tinted with pink. "I don't love him, Alice." Alice's eyes widened. "I like you, Alice. I love you." Amelia's face heated up, turning bright red. She turned her face away from Alice's deep stare. "Well, say something at least."

"How can I possibly say something," she cried, "when I'm too busy crying?" Fat, salty tears fell from Alice's eyes as she blushed.

"Alice, I-"

"I love you," she sobbed. "I love you so much, I can't stand it, it's so strong. My heart feels like it's being squeezed." Alice looked at Amelia through the water filling her eyes. "I love you, Amelia." Amelia smiled, leaning down.

"I love you too, Alice," she said as she kissed her.

Alice was never one for romance nor kisses. But in that moment, she found that it was all worth it. It was always a good thing when loving a girl.

* * *

**Wow! This is the longest oneshot I've ever written, and it took a hella long time to write. It was originally supposed to only be four pages, but then words. I love this pairing and I love this concept of best friends tragically falling in love with each other. Hope you liked it! **

**~cursedcursive**


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